As extrapolated from the Examination of Conscience for a Good Confession: The Fourth Commandment: Honour thy mother and thy father. (Handbook of Prayers; Socias, Rev. James; Midwest Theological Forum; Woodridge, Illinois, 2007, pp. 325-326)
NB: When I say ME: I mean US: IE, Bear and I
FOR PARENTS (OR WHAT I EXPECT FROM MYSELF TOWARDS MY CHILDREN: If I am to be honoured by my children I should be honourable)
1. Have I neglected to teach my children their prayers, send them to church, or give them a Christian education?
I should teach them their prayers, make sure they say their prayers, take them to church or if I am unable, make sure they go anyway, and teach them what it means to be a Christian.
2. Have I given them a bad example
I should be a positive role model. I should lead by example and most of all I should do what I say they should do.
3. Have I neglected to watch over my children, to monitor their companions, the books they red, the movies and TV shows they watch.
I should guide my children, and if necessary censure their entertainment, if that entertainment is not conducive to a Christian life. The content of their entertainment should not include: Anti-Catholic Teaching, the occult, lack of respect for their own and others sexualities to name a few. Guide them that reality is not a fairy tale. And real life is not like it is in books or in the movies.
4 Have I failed to see to it that my child made his First Confession and First Communion.
To ensure that at the appropriate age they are prepared and are of the required age and maturity to confess their sins, and understand that the host they ingest is indeed the real presence of Christ, body and blood. If I believe that my child is not ready to receive Communion, then I should wait until the required maturity is attained. It is as much of a sin to have your child take communion when immature and while not understanding what s/he is doing as it is to keep them from communion if s/he is ready.
5. Have I failed to see to it that my children have received the sacrament of Confirmation?
I must ensure that my child is fully mature enough and fully prepared to make her Baptismal vows of her own accord. That she understands the catechism of the Holy Roman Catholic Church. If I think there is any reason why she is not ready to be confirmed, IE, be sealed with the Holy Spirit, I should then prevent her from being confirmed until s/he is of the requisite maturity.
FOR CHILDREN (WHAT I EXPECT OF MY CHILDREN TOWARDS ME: How my children are meant to honour me.)
1. Was I disobedient towards my parents?
My children should obey me.
2. Did I neglect to help my parents when my help was needed?
My children should help me, if I ask, and sometimes without asking if they see I need help.
3. Did I treat my parents with little affection or respect?
My children should treat me with affection, and if they "hate" me that day, then they must still treat me with respect. ( They can think whatever they like, but they must treat me with respect)
4. Did I react proudly when I was corrected by my parents?
My children my accept our corrections with humility. By the same extent, my corrections should be done with mercy, fairness, and patience. Keeping in mind I will be correcting them over the same misbehaviour again tomorrow.
5. Did I have a disordered desire for independence?
My children have a right to ask for more freedoms and liberties, but freedoms and liberties are not rights, but privileges my children have to earn, by showing me their level of maturity. Freedom at too young an age is disordered. Freedom, liberty, Privilege and license are similar but not exactly the same. Further, in order for my children to negotiate greater independence, they must demonstrate greater ability to take responsibility for that greater independence.
6. Did I do my chores?
Children should have chores, and pull their weight in house and for the family, each according to their age, maturity, and abilities.
Do I try to mother my children according to these guidelines: yes
Do I always succeed? NO
Am I the best mother in the world: No as is attested by my children at least once every day:
"You are the worst mother in the history of motherhood"
Am I the worst mother in the world: No as is attested by my children at least once every day:
"Mom, you are the best."