12 June 2012

3.5 Timeouts Tuesday, kitten edition.

1.

No thanks to any of you. we've adopted one of my mother in law's kittens.


2.

Officially, it's younger's.  Her efforts to overcome my resistance to having a cat in our house went like this:

Y  (to her mother): Can we keep one?
Puff (counting on me to be strong on this one): Ask your father.
Y (to me) Can we keep one?
Me: No.
Y: please?
Me: No,
Y: Pretty please?
Me: No.
Y: Pretty, pretty please?
Me: No.

etc ad infinitum


you shall pay for my incarceration, human.


3.

...
Y: Pretty, pretty, pretty etc please?
Me, changing tactics:  We don't have the money.
Y: I'll pay for it.
Me: You don't have the money. 
Y: Yes I do! (she then proceeds to spend all her free time over the next few days calculating the costs of her cat compared to her allowance, and comes up with a positive balance.  I should add that her mother, who wanted me to keep saying no, enthusiastically helped her do the research.  Puff also calls me a traitor for caving just a crack.)
Y (presenting me with her calculations): See?
Me: Inwardly, on the one hand impressed, on the other hand: O crap.  Outwardly:  Crap, I'm impressed.

Then Elder found out.

E: How come she gets a cat, but you never let me have one?
Me:  Nona's cat never got pregnant when you were a kid, and we couldn't afford one.  Younger has agreed to pay and care for this one.  On the bright side, at least we have a cat now, just like you always wanted.
E:  I don't want one now.
Me: For crying out loud, would someone who loves me please put a bullet in my brain?


your feeble attempts to befriend me will fail.  Now comb my fur and feed me.

3.5

I would have preferred a dog, because a dog would force me to get more exercise, and they are more playful, usually, plus I would also be able to acceptably and legitimately say things like: "Come on over here, you son of a bitch."

Speaking of acceptable and unacceptable language, I truly despise what pornography and pornographers have done to our world, and also to our words.  There was a time, not that long ago, where a man could talk about his daughter's pussy without people looking funny at him, or calling the cops.

By all that is holy, what kind of Jacquard hell have you stuck me in?

6 comments:

Puff the Magic Dragon said...

Hey, back it up there bud.

I helped her with her calculations, by constantly adding more and more things she'd need to save for.You know month food, monthly litter, licensing fee etc etc. I eager added expenses to her bill.

I thought I had her at the whole yearly vets visits (over $300 for the first year, about $100 every year after, and the clincher was going to be the apaying almost$400)There was no way she was going to afford it. But the vet she visited suggested getting pet insurance. And that she can afford. It's about 10- 15 bucks a month. And the EXPENSIVE cat food isn't so expensive anymore because the cat won't eat it, it prefers our leftovers. So she saves there.

Bear you do realize this is Arwen, right?

HOnestly, she saves her allowance, she saves her Christmas money, she saves Nonna's "presents" [Have you seen her treasure chest, she still has halloween candy.

Remember this is the the one of our kids who paid for her own netbook laptop, you know the one I use. How in the world could you bring up cost analysis with her? Honestly, have you forgotten her goal is to own the half of the world Bill Gates doesn't own.

You couldn't stick with the old stand by: Galadriel is allergic, you are allergic, mom is allergic, and Frodo is too young to be tested, but he is allergic.

But I am impressed that she cleans the litter box. daily- impressive

And you blame me. Pathetic.

Joe Potillor said...

And thus another cat is in prime position for world takeover

LarryD said...

We have a cat. She dreams of figuring out how to open the screen door on her own.

Get her declawed - at least her front ones, especially if you plan on keeping her indoors.

So what's the beast's name?

Puff the Magic Dragon said...

Arwen has named her STORM.

Because, as Arwen says: It looks like a storm cloud, with white edges and the sun peeking through.

LarryD said...

That's a great name. Hopefully she's more drizzle than hurricane.

Puff the Magic Dragon said...

At present she seems to be a spring shower.