No thanks to any of you. we've adopted one of my mother in law's kittens.
Officially, it's younger's. Her efforts to overcome my resistance to having a cat in our house went like this:
Y (to her mother): Can we keep one?
Puff (counting on me to be strong on this one): Ask your father.
Y (to me) Can we keep one?
Y: Pretty please?
Y: Pretty, pretty please?
etc ad infinitum
|you shall pay for my incarceration, human.|
Y: Pretty, pretty, pretty etc please?
Me, changing tactics: We don't have the money.
Y: I'll pay for it.
Me: You don't have the money.
Y: Yes I do! (she then proceeds to spend all her free time over the next few days calculating the costs of her cat compared to her allowance, and comes up with a positive balance. I should add that her mother, who wanted me to keep saying no, enthusiastically helped her do the research. Puff also calls me a traitor for caving just a crack.)
Y (presenting me with her calculations): See?
Me: Inwardly, on the one hand impressed, on the other hand: O crap. Outwardly: Crap, I'm impressed.
Then Elder found out.
E: How come she gets a cat, but you never let me have one?
Me: Nona's cat never got pregnant when you were a kid, and we couldn't afford one. Younger has agreed to pay and care for this one. On the bright side, at least we have a cat now, just like you always wanted.
E: I don't want one now.
Me: For crying out loud, would someone who loves me please put a bullet in my brain?
|your feeble attempts to befriend me will fail. Now comb my fur and feed me.|
I would have preferred a dog, because a dog would force me to get more exercise, and they are more playful, usually, plus I would also be able to acceptably and legitimately say things like: "Come on over here, you son of a bitch."
Speaking of acceptable and unacceptable language, I truly despise what pornography and pornographers have done to our world, and also to our words. There was a time, not that long ago, where a man could talk about his daughter's pussy without people looking funny at him, or calling the cops.
|By all that is holy, what kind of Jacquard hell have you stuck me in?|