My wife occasionally asks me why I hardly ever speak these days. The Answer is simple: there's no point.
My conversations generally run one of two ways. The first typically goes like this:
My conversations generally run one of two ways. The first typically goes like this:
Me, to someone who has their face glued to some sort of screen: Listen, I have this Terribly Important Thing to tell you.
Them: Yeah.
Me: Are you listening?
Them: Yeah,
Me: Alright, the Terribly Important Thing requires us to do Some Specific Thing at a Very Specific Place at a Very Specific Time.
Them: Yeah.
Me: Got it?
Them: Yeah.
Some time later.
Me: Are you ready?
Them: For what?
Me: For that Very Important Thing.
Them: What? Why didn't you tell me?
Then there's the Second. This one comes with having children.
Me, to my wife: Wife, there is something very important we must discuss. It's about
One of the girls, from the upstairs bathroom: I NEED TOILET PAPER UP HERE!
Me: I'LL GET IT IN A MINUTE! As I was saying, this is the most important thing I'll ever
Girl: I NEED TOILET PAPER! IS ANYONE LISTENING?
Me: I SAID I'D BE UP IN A MINUTE! Where was I? Oh yeah. It is of absolutely critical importance that
Girl: I NEED IT NOW!
Me: INTERRUPT ME ONE MORE TIME AND YOU CAN USE YOUR HAND! Now, as I was about to say
Girl: YOU'RE SO MEAN!
Me: Grrrrr
Conversations. They're really overrated.
Them: Yeah.
Me: Are you listening?
Them: Yeah,
Me: Alright, the Terribly Important Thing requires us to do Some Specific Thing at a Very Specific Place at a Very Specific Time.
Them: Yeah.
Me: Got it?
Them: Yeah.
Some time later.
Me: Are you ready?
Them: For what?
Me: For that Very Important Thing.
Them: What? Why didn't you tell me?
Then there's the Second. This one comes with having children.
Me, to my wife: Wife, there is something very important we must discuss. It's about
One of the girls, from the upstairs bathroom: I NEED TOILET PAPER UP HERE!
Me: I'LL GET IT IN A MINUTE! As I was saying, this is the most important thing I'll ever
Girl: I NEED TOILET PAPER! IS ANYONE LISTENING?
Me: I SAID I'D BE UP IN A MINUTE! Where was I? Oh yeah. It is of absolutely critical importance that
Girl: I NEED IT NOW!
Me: INTERRUPT ME ONE MORE TIME AND YOU CAN USE YOUR HAND! Now, as I was about to say
Girl: YOU'RE SO MEAN!
Me: Grrrrr
Conversations. They're really overrated.
1 comment:
hahaha! lol, oh, you will miss these days, when there is hardly any "down time" and all you hear are kids and one of them always wants or needs something right now...you will give anything to go back and do it again only this time, with even more care and love and paying attention to all their "look at me's". oh, for the days!
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