22 November 2008

Making my children happy

Elder batted her eyelashes at me and asked: "Is there anything you'd rather do than make your daughter happy?"

In this circumstance "make your daughter happy" means "take her to see the movie 'Twilight'" As a mental exercise I have composed a short list of things I'd rather do than take her to Twilight, or as the case is, make her happy.

In no particular order, I'd rather:

Chew tinfoil;
Guzzle a large bottle of exlax;
Stick my tongue in a fan;
Stick a fork in my eye;
Watch Jim Carrey's Grinch (of which, incidentally, I'd rather stick a fork in my eye etc than see again);
Play Russian Roulette with a howitzer;
Call Lennox Lewis a sissy to his face; (I know, I know: this is essentially no different than the one above)
Go to a Wiggles concert;
Cook bacon naked.

If anyone has any further suggestions, feel free to add them in the combox.

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