30 December 2016

A year of farewells

No man may step into the same river twice. -Heraclitus

The year is drawing to a close. I've said goodbye to a lot this year. Not the stars who passed- one can hardly bid farewell to those one never greeted in the first place- but to much more personal things, at least for me. Mother died, of course. She was the last of her family, I have no blood aunts or uncles left.

Soon her house will be sold. It is the oldest house remaining on that road, just two years shy of a century... home. It was built by my grandfather, and has never passed from his line. It was the home where I grew up, and I still think of it as home. It will likely be bought by a developer who will level the house, the garage which once held horses, the foundations shall be ripped up and the trees planted by my grandfather cut down, until no trace of the house and those who called it home is left, and a new house shall be built in its place.

Mom's funeral was likely the last time I will see many of my cousins. I haven't kept in touch with them nor they with me, and neither they nor I seem interested in changing that. The reasons are tedious. Were I to explain I would tend to condemn them as I exonerated myself, and their version would almost certainly do the inverse. Take your pick. Funerals are the most likely time I will see any now, should any have my address or phone number to call me, or my family has theirs to summon them for mine.

As for my brother and sisters- we have had our last Christmas together in the old house. It was a rather sober affair, compared to other Christmases we have known. Quite possibly it was our last together at all. I don't know what occasion shall draw us together again.

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