26 September 2020

Still working on providing the world with more me.

 Spent some time yesterday going downtown and shooting a few more scenes for the video of one of my historical walks. This time I was shooting the scenes out by St Paul's. I don't know how much of the video will be useful with all the background noise of the street and whatnot. It was rather comical at one point, though. I was just in the process of talking about Power's funeral when the bell in the tower started chiming off the hour. At first I found that irritating and bad luck, then I thought, Hang on, that's strangely appropriate.

Going over the video I shot is tough. I can stand neither the sight of my own face nor the sound of my own voice. I find gong over myself to be an experience of 'I don't really look like that, do I? My voice doesn't really sound like that, does it?' But I do and it does.

A bit of pride on both sides of that coin, I'm afraid: Pride in thinking that I should be out there, and pride that I cannot allow others to see me as anything less than whatever ideal I hold myself to.

1 comment:

Kathleen1031 said...

Oh boy, almost everybody can relate, I know I can. This only increases as we get older, I'm afraid. I never enjoyed seeing myself in anything but some still photos, but hearing our voice is always weird. I guess it helps if we remember other people have heard us all our lives and they're used to it.
I think it's great you are trying to make a historical video. Good for you, you're productive! Sometimes just the doing of something is fun enough.