19 November 2018

Working with others

Hell, Jean-Paul Sartre once famously said, is other people.

I really get that, some days.

Working with my merry band occasionally drives that point home.  We have a certain rhythm to what we do and what we don't do.  Last summer I proposed something for the group.  Others quickly added their own ideas.  One man claimed to have the best idea of all, and said he would handle it for us.

He didn't.  And there the idea died.

In a sense it is my fault.  I should not have let my idea pass out of my control.  but, one the other hand, if I cannot trust others in the group to do as they say, why am I a member?

Or sometimes this happens:

Me: I have a great idea.

Person A: That is a great idea!

Me: Thanks!

Person A: Except maybe we should....

Me: That... sounds workable

Person B: Or maybe we should do this as well.

Me. I don't think

Person A: Yes! Exactly! And while we're at it.

Person C: Or this.

Person B: That would work well with.

Person A: Or maybe.

Me: Ummm, guys

Person B Exactly!  Awesome!

And so it goes.  Before long, my idea is not my idea.  We execute it anyway and it crashes and burns, which is my fault, because it was my idea to begin with.

There is a simple rule of thumb here.  My wife calls it rule #14: You can do it your way, or you can get help, but not both,  never both.  Well, almost always.  There are people out there who seem to be in each others thoughts, finish each other's ideas and so on.  But for most of us, dealing with other people is a constant compromise/tug of war. And that is why I am, more and more, going off and doing my own things that don't require aid or even input from the others.  That way I am not left spinning in the wind when someone doesn't uphold their end or fulfill their promises.  Succeed or fail, it was mine, first and last.

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