Younger wants to be homeschooled. And as I have 2 BA's and Bear is ABD to his PhD, we are, according to the requisites, educated enough to homeschool. My question: Since I know my limits, I would only want to homeschool until Grade 8 or so, so how do the kids apply to high school and how do they get to take the standardized tests necessary throughout elementary school?
The curriculum, I can get from the Ministry Website, and there are different support groups, but this is the make it or break it question.
Any ontario homeschoolers who can answer, please do.
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
20 December 2010
11 December 2010
elder here
Took over mom and dad's blog account. Thank you for praying for my aunt. I have no idea what to get mom, or Dad or anyone for Christmas. My little sister is sick and has full use of downstair's television with the digital cable box that has over 500 channels.ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The other TV only has 89 channels. I am so happy my uncle got me a laptop.which means mom and dad have to negotiate computer use with me hahhahahahahaha.
12 May 2010
Jobless, non-religious teachers turn to Catholicism in attempt for employment
This story from the Globe and Mail troubles me.
Not because non-Catholics are hoodwinking the Catholic School Board into hiring them, but because we parents won't know who and who isn't Catholic.
I would rather have non-Catholics teach my children, and know they are not Catholic and be on guard that possibly non-Catholic philosophy is entering my children's education, rather than assume that my children's teachers are Catholic.
In fact, the majority of my children's teachers are CINO. They were baptised, communicated, confirmed, even married in the Church, but have absolutely no knowledge of the basic tenets of the faith.
So really which is worse?
Not because non-Catholics are hoodwinking the Catholic School Board into hiring them, but because we parents won't know who and who isn't Catholic.
I would rather have non-Catholics teach my children, and know they are not Catholic and be on guard that possibly non-Catholic philosophy is entering my children's education, rather than assume that my children's teachers are Catholic.
In fact, the majority of my children's teachers are CINO. They were baptised, communicated, confirmed, even married in the Church, but have absolutely no knowledge of the basic tenets of the faith.
So really which is worse?
29 December 2009
Viva Viva La Befana
La Befana:
Read more at Suite101: Christmas in Italy: Italian Holiday Traditions
According to Italian legend, La Befana was a witch living at the time of the birth of Jesus. The three wise men (also known as the three kings) were on their way to Bethlehem, when they invited La Befana to come along. She was busy with her housework and declined. Later, once she had finished her cleaning, she set off on her broomstick with toys for the Gesú Bambino (Baby Jesus). However, she could not find the Three Kings and soon lost her way. Italian children believe that La Befana is still looking for Baby Jesus, and on the eve of the Epiphany, she flies down the chimney (or, if a chimney is not available, the keyhole) of each house, and leaves gifts in the children’s shoes, which are left by the fireplace (or by the door if; there is no fireplace,) just in case Baby Jesus is there.
Read more at Suite101: Christmas in Italy: Italian Holiday Traditions
It should be noted that Children leave her a glass of wine and a plate of food. Also, being such a conscientious housekeeper, she will also sweep your floors, so that your house is clean on Epiphany morning.
Happy Epiphany to each and all.
22 October 2009
Eucharist, E-U-C-H-A-R-I-S-T.
Younger is going to be receiving her first Holy Communion come the spring this year, (prayer request, please) and we have begun teaching according to the materials put out by the diocese. Right there, on the first page, was the first reference to Communion, which was referred to as "the Bread of Life."
I understand the validity of calling the Eucharist the 'Bread of Life'. It is an old, common way of referring to the Eucharist. Possibly the most famous communion hymn, Panis Angelicus, written by Thomas Aquinas himself, refers to it as bread. So I don't have a problem with calling it Bread as such, as long as its supernatural reality is stressed over the physical. My issue is that sometimes the 'bread' motif gets too much stress and shunts aside the idea that what we are partaking of is the Body and Blood of Christ.
Am I too sensitive? Perhaps. But I have heard people refer to the Eucharist as "blessed bread", yea, even from the pulpit, too many times. Any bread can be blessed. I can bless bread, for crying out loud. What we have in the Eucharist is something else.
And yet I see the 'bread' idea pushed around so very much. It was part of the reason I quit my old choir: I was sick of our six or seven communion hymns, most of which emphasised bread. The exception was when we sang "Christians let us love one another," which shifted the emphasis from the Eucharist completely to our neighbours. But the other hymns, like 'Bread of Life' or 'Eat this Bread' or 'I am the Living Bread' or 'Our Daily Bread' all stressed bread. Then there's 'Gift of Finest Wheat' which stepped back from bread and went to stress wheat and grapes. And then there's 'Seed, scattered and sown,' which takes another step back: we're not talking about bread and wine, nor wheat and grapes, but seeds and vines. We keep moving backwards. I've said it before and I'll say it again: We go any farther back, we'll be singing hymns about manure.
We crossed out Bread of Life, and wrote in Body of Christ. Her training will begin there.
I understand the validity of calling the Eucharist the 'Bread of Life'. It is an old, common way of referring to the Eucharist. Possibly the most famous communion hymn, Panis Angelicus, written by Thomas Aquinas himself, refers to it as bread. So I don't have a problem with calling it Bread as such, as long as its supernatural reality is stressed over the physical. My issue is that sometimes the 'bread' motif gets too much stress and shunts aside the idea that what we are partaking of is the Body and Blood of Christ.
Am I too sensitive? Perhaps. But I have heard people refer to the Eucharist as "blessed bread", yea, even from the pulpit, too many times. Any bread can be blessed. I can bless bread, for crying out loud. What we have in the Eucharist is something else.
And yet I see the 'bread' idea pushed around so very much. It was part of the reason I quit my old choir: I was sick of our six or seven communion hymns, most of which emphasised bread. The exception was when we sang "Christians let us love one another," which shifted the emphasis from the Eucharist completely to our neighbours. But the other hymns, like 'Bread of Life' or 'Eat this Bread' or 'I am the Living Bread' or 'Our Daily Bread' all stressed bread. Then there's 'Gift of Finest Wheat' which stepped back from bread and went to stress wheat and grapes. And then there's 'Seed, scattered and sown,' which takes another step back: we're not talking about bread and wine, nor wheat and grapes, but seeds and vines. We keep moving backwards. I've said it before and I'll say it again: We go any farther back, we'll be singing hymns about manure.
We crossed out Bread of Life, and wrote in Body of Christ. Her training will begin there.
5 July 2009
How to be a Good Parent
As extrapolated from the Examination of Conscience for a Good Confession: The Fourth Commandment: Honour thy mother and thy father. (Handbook of Prayers; Socias, Rev. James; Midwest Theological Forum; Woodridge, Illinois, 2007, pp. 325-326)
NB: When I say ME: I mean US: IE, Bear and I
FOR PARENTS (OR WHAT I EXPECT FROM MYSELF TOWARDS MY CHILDREN: If I am to be honoured by my children I should be honourable)
1. Have I neglected to teach my children their prayers, send them to church, or give them a Christian education?
Extrapolation:
I should teach them their prayers, make sure they say their prayers, take them to church or if I am unable, make sure they go anyway, and teach them what it means to be a Christian.
2. Have I given them a bad example
Extrapolation
I should be a positive role model. I should lead by example and most of all I should do what I say they should do.
3. Have I neglected to watch over my children, to monitor their companions, the books they red, the movies and TV shows they watch.
Extrapolation:
I should guide my children, and if necessary censure their entertainment, if that entertainment is not conducive to a Christian life. The content of their entertainment should not include: Anti-Catholic Teaching, the occult, lack of respect for their own and others sexualities to name a few. Guide them that reality is not a fairy tale. And real life is not like it is in books or in the movies.
4 Have I failed to see to it that my child made his First Confession and First Communion.
Extrapolation
To ensure that at the appropriate age they are prepared and are of the required age and maturity to confess their sins, and understand that the host they ingest is indeed the real presence of Christ, body and blood. If I believe that my child is not ready to receive Communion, then I should wait until the required maturity is attained. It is as much of a sin to have your child take communion when immature and while not understanding what s/he is doing as it is to keep them from communion if s/he is ready.
5. Have I failed to see to it that my children have received the sacrament of Confirmation?
Extrapolation
I must ensure that my child is fully mature enough and fully prepared to make her Baptismal vows of her own accord. That she understands the catechism of the Holy Roman Catholic Church. If I think there is any reason why she is not ready to be confirmed, IE, be sealed with the Holy Spirit, I should then prevent her from being confirmed until s/he is of the requisite maturity.
FOR CHILDREN (WHAT I EXPECT OF MY CHILDREN TOWARDS ME: How my children are meant to honour me.)
1. Was I disobedient towards my parents?
Extrapolation:
My children should obey me.
2. Did I neglect to help my parents when my help was needed?
Extrapolation:
My children should help me, if I ask, and sometimes without asking if they see I need help.
3. Did I treat my parents with little affection or respect?
Extrapolation:
My children should treat me with affection, and if they "hate" me that day, then they must still treat me with respect. ( They can think whatever they like, but they must treat me with respect)
4. Did I react proudly when I was corrected by my parents?
Extrapolation
My children my accept our corrections with humility. By the same extent, my corrections should be done with mercy, fairness, and patience. Keeping in mind I will be correcting them over the same misbehaviour again tomorrow.
5. Did I have a disordered desire for independence?
My children have a right to ask for more freedoms and liberties, but freedoms and liberties are not rights, but privileges my children have to earn, by showing me their level of maturity. Freedom at too young an age is disordered. Freedom, liberty, Privilege and license are similar but not exactly the same. Further, in order for my children to negotiate greater independence, they must demonstrate greater ability to take responsibility for that greater independence.
6. Did I do my chores?
Extrapolation:
Children should have chores, and pull their weight in house and for the family, each according to their age, maturity, and abilities.
Do I try to mother my children according to these guidelines: yes
Do I always succeed? NO
Am I the best mother in the world: No as is attested by my children at least once every day:
"You are the worst mother in the history of motherhood"
Am I the worst mother in the world: No as is attested by my children at least once every day:
"Mom, you are the best."
NB: When I say ME: I mean US: IE, Bear and I
FOR PARENTS (OR WHAT I EXPECT FROM MYSELF TOWARDS MY CHILDREN: If I am to be honoured by my children I should be honourable)
1. Have I neglected to teach my children their prayers, send them to church, or give them a Christian education?
Extrapolation:
I should teach them their prayers, make sure they say their prayers, take them to church or if I am unable, make sure they go anyway, and teach them what it means to be a Christian.
2. Have I given them a bad example
Extrapolation
I should be a positive role model. I should lead by example and most of all I should do what I say they should do.
3. Have I neglected to watch over my children, to monitor their companions, the books they red, the movies and TV shows they watch.
Extrapolation:
I should guide my children, and if necessary censure their entertainment, if that entertainment is not conducive to a Christian life. The content of their entertainment should not include: Anti-Catholic Teaching, the occult, lack of respect for their own and others sexualities to name a few. Guide them that reality is not a fairy tale. And real life is not like it is in books or in the movies.
4 Have I failed to see to it that my child made his First Confession and First Communion.
Extrapolation
To ensure that at the appropriate age they are prepared and are of the required age and maturity to confess their sins, and understand that the host they ingest is indeed the real presence of Christ, body and blood. If I believe that my child is not ready to receive Communion, then I should wait until the required maturity is attained. It is as much of a sin to have your child take communion when immature and while not understanding what s/he is doing as it is to keep them from communion if s/he is ready.
5. Have I failed to see to it that my children have received the sacrament of Confirmation?
Extrapolation
I must ensure that my child is fully mature enough and fully prepared to make her Baptismal vows of her own accord. That she understands the catechism of the Holy Roman Catholic Church. If I think there is any reason why she is not ready to be confirmed, IE, be sealed with the Holy Spirit, I should then prevent her from being confirmed until s/he is of the requisite maturity.
FOR CHILDREN (WHAT I EXPECT OF MY CHILDREN TOWARDS ME: How my children are meant to honour me.)
1. Was I disobedient towards my parents?
Extrapolation:
My children should obey me.
2. Did I neglect to help my parents when my help was needed?
Extrapolation:
My children should help me, if I ask, and sometimes without asking if they see I need help.
3. Did I treat my parents with little affection or respect?
Extrapolation:
My children should treat me with affection, and if they "hate" me that day, then they must still treat me with respect. ( They can think whatever they like, but they must treat me with respect)
4. Did I react proudly when I was corrected by my parents?
Extrapolation
My children my accept our corrections with humility. By the same extent, my corrections should be done with mercy, fairness, and patience. Keeping in mind I will be correcting them over the same misbehaviour again tomorrow.
5. Did I have a disordered desire for independence?
My children have a right to ask for more freedoms and liberties, but freedoms and liberties are not rights, but privileges my children have to earn, by showing me their level of maturity. Freedom at too young an age is disordered. Freedom, liberty, Privilege and license are similar but not exactly the same. Further, in order for my children to negotiate greater independence, they must demonstrate greater ability to take responsibility for that greater independence.
6. Did I do my chores?
Extrapolation:
Children should have chores, and pull their weight in house and for the family, each according to their age, maturity, and abilities.
Do I try to mother my children according to these guidelines: yes
Do I always succeed? NO
Am I the best mother in the world: No as is attested by my children at least once every day:
"You are the worst mother in the history of motherhood"
Am I the worst mother in the world: No as is attested by my children at least once every day:
"Mom, you are the best."
26 December 2008
Here and there, again.
Christmas went off pretty well this year. We were with our families and there were no major disasters or fights. Dinner last night was delicious. My only complaint is that it wasn't at my house, so I don't get any leftovers.
The kids made out like bandits, as always. I was broke this year, and gave them things I had made in my shop. I made Elder a desk. I gave younger a doll house that isn't quite finished. As is typical of me I went over my head on that one. I could have made her a simple box with a triangular roof on top and called it a dollhouse, but noooo.... I saw a plan for a Georgian style dollhouse and off I went. At least younger is excited at the prospect of the two of us finishing the dollhouse together. I made my mother a card table, so she can have a decent table for her euchre parties. Maybe she'll get rid of one of her ancient folding plastic ones where the legs keep collapsing, usually when I finally have a decent hand.
I wonder why I feel guilty about giving out hand made gifts, as if they aren't good enough.
I used to give even more hand-made gifts, but that stopped for many on my list. One year, a few months after Christmas, I saw my in laws lighting the charcoal barbecue with pieces of something I had given their son.
Now that my shop is no longer an outreach branch of Santa's toyshop I can get back to other things, like the pipe organ project and a few other things. Younger now wants me to make a desk for her. She flipped through my plan books and came up with a style she likes- drop front, Queen Anne. I'll give her this much, she has taste.
***
I wonder if when younger leaves home she'll want me to make her furniture. "Please Daddy, I've always wanted my home done in Chippendale style, with a bit of Hepplewhite. That's not too much, is it?"
***
I've read a few places about the Pope's recent "year in review" or "State of the Church" speech. Most bloggers are concerned about how the MSM reported or distorted the speech. Blogging about the media distorting papal messages- or any message for that matter- is a bit like blogging about how water is wet. The media always distorts, puffing up those the reporter likes, ripping those the reporter dislikes.
The speech itself touches on several important issues, including the environment, which the Pope weaves into the Church's concern for life. I was glad to see this. I have said in the past that if we are to have dominion over creation, we should hold that dominion like benevolent and loving rulers, not like creation's tyrants and dictators.
***
Weather here is getting a little crazy. We got a fair amount of snow, and now it is all set to melt as the temperature rises for the next few days and it rains.
***
That's it for the moment. I was going to say something about the politics in Canada at the moment, but I'll wait a day or two for that.
The kids made out like bandits, as always. I was broke this year, and gave them things I had made in my shop. I made Elder a desk. I gave younger a doll house that isn't quite finished. As is typical of me I went over my head on that one. I could have made her a simple box with a triangular roof on top and called it a dollhouse, but noooo.... I saw a plan for a Georgian style dollhouse and off I went. At least younger is excited at the prospect of the two of us finishing the dollhouse together. I made my mother a card table, so she can have a decent table for her euchre parties. Maybe she'll get rid of one of her ancient folding plastic ones where the legs keep collapsing, usually when I finally have a decent hand.
I wonder why I feel guilty about giving out hand made gifts, as if they aren't good enough.
I used to give even more hand-made gifts, but that stopped for many on my list. One year, a few months after Christmas, I saw my in laws lighting the charcoal barbecue with pieces of something I had given their son.
Now that my shop is no longer an outreach branch of Santa's toyshop I can get back to other things, like the pipe organ project and a few other things. Younger now wants me to make a desk for her. She flipped through my plan books and came up with a style she likes- drop front, Queen Anne. I'll give her this much, she has taste.
***
I wonder if when younger leaves home she'll want me to make her furniture. "Please Daddy, I've always wanted my home done in Chippendale style, with a bit of Hepplewhite. That's not too much, is it?"
***
I've read a few places about the Pope's recent "year in review" or "State of the Church" speech. Most bloggers are concerned about how the MSM reported or distorted the speech. Blogging about the media distorting papal messages- or any message for that matter- is a bit like blogging about how water is wet. The media always distorts, puffing up those the reporter likes, ripping those the reporter dislikes.
The speech itself touches on several important issues, including the environment, which the Pope weaves into the Church's concern for life. I was glad to see this. I have said in the past that if we are to have dominion over creation, we should hold that dominion like benevolent and loving rulers, not like creation's tyrants and dictators.
***
Weather here is getting a little crazy. We got a fair amount of snow, and now it is all set to melt as the temperature rises for the next few days and it rains.
***
That's it for the moment. I was going to say something about the politics in Canada at the moment, but I'll wait a day or two for that.
15 November 2008
Will... to live...fading...
Why, oh why, did my wife and I resolve to try and be responsible parents? If I could be one of those irresponsible lumps that is the norm for modern North American Parenthood, I would never get myself into these messes.
What mess? you ask. Why the mess that comes when Puff and I decided to start vetting the books our eldest daughter reads. The one my wife posted about a while back comes with a series. I got stuck with number two.
I got stuck vetting another series back in the late '90's or early 2000's. My wife, who at the time worked at a daycare centre came home with a book. She explained that the day care centre was considering putting this title into their library, but were concerned because a number of places, mostly in the States, were banning it. They asked her to read it because she had an English degree. She asked me to read it because I had almost three English degrees.
It was a dark period in my life. I had come to the realization that I was not going to get my Ph.D, that I was more or less stuck where I was. After being forced during the course of my degrees to read books about books about books, or books that tried to structure a hypothetical/theoretical position from which one may begin to have a discussion about how to approach a work of literary art, I had pretty much given up on reading. So my reaction was bleak. "It has come to this," I said to myself. "I, Bear, B.A. M.A., all but dissertation on my Ph.D, am now a reader of children's books for day care centres. Lord, end my suffering, please."
The Lord did not end my suffering, and I sighed and sat down and began reading the first of the Harry Potter novels. I expected a long slow drag, but instead I found that time flew, and before I knew it, I was at the end, and wondering what happened next. The book wasn't great, but it was good, and it had a lot of quirky humour in it. I went out and got my own copy of the book, and then began to get the rest of the series.
I feel I owe Rowling a debt of gratitude, for it was through her that I remembered my long suppressed love of good stories. It rekindled my fondness for children's writing. All too often the so-called adult writing relies on the visceral thrills of sex and violence to cover over the lack of style and story. Children's writing, without these crutches, has to resort to good storytelling. I began reading again, and although I did find a few clunkers, I remembered Pliny Major's dictum: "I never saw a book so bad I did not get some good from it."
Well that's out the window. Pliny never read the Twilight series, or he would have qualified that statement. The books are terrible. The writing is horrible. The 'story', so-called, is told from the point of view of a late teen girl, who is in love with vampire. They love as no two have ever loved before, nor ever shall again, blah blah blah. Every word this girl puts on the page is a reiteration and restatement of two facts:
1. My life sucks; and
2. That pale guy is cute.
I used to observe the teen girls around me when I was a teenager. There was a certain coterie of them that I believed were the most vapid, shallow and stupid creatures put upon the earth. They were the ones who thought they were the most mature and sophisticated people there ever were.
Now, I know most of you ladies out there probably believe that girls mature faster than boys. In all honesty, I never saw it. It really came down to the individuals. I thought, and still do, that if you were to take one hundred boys and one hundred girls, pair them off at random, and administer some kind of objective maturity test, maybe 51 girls would be more mature than the boys, and only 48 of the boys more so than the girls, with one tie. Now, I know boys have their signature immaturities- usually gross, involving bodily fluids and/or sex jokes, and potentially fatal habits. Girls, however, have their own signature immaturity, and believing they are more mature than they are is it. This is Bella, the main character of the novel.
She is seventeen going on eighteen. Her boyfriend, Edward, is forever seventeen. She wants to be with him forever. He is also slightly the bad boy, but also polite and self controlled, not like those other boys. He is also more mature than the other boys, as he should be since he is really over one hundred years old. (Question: aren't there laws against this sort of thing?) He's also a hunk. a hunk like no other, yadda yadda yadda. Really, take away the vampire stuff and you got the same drivel I heard from a dozen girls who fell in love with the quarterback/rebel/drug addict who just needed someone to understand him. The girls then got pregnant, dumped, and now flip burgers at McD's, while going home to look after their grandchildren.
Somehow this stuff plays for the teen girls. For me, I find myself debating whether to turn the page, or gouge out my eyeballs.
It all takes place in a small town, naturally- dark forces always swirl about the small towns. Nothing bad ever happens in the big city. The characters are dumb. I can't even relate to the male characters. Take her father, the town Sheriff. Edward breaks Bella's heart. For four months Bella mopes around the house in the throes of the deepest (yawn) depression. I have long since decided that if any boy causes either of my daughters to shed a single tear of sorrow I will hunt them to the ends of the earth and rend them to pieces with my bare hands. I will carry their bloody head back to my home and mount it on a stake outside as a warning to all others who would dare harm my daughters. If anyone should consider this action to be 'criminal' and charge me with something or other, I will simply stack the jury with fathers who have daughters, and I will walk away a free man. And possibly father of the year.
So what does Bella's father do? He decides to send her to her mother to see if the mother can make her feel better. This is a modern man? The guy's the town Sheriff, for cryin' out loud. Not only is he packing heat, he would investigate the boy's disappearance. Think of the possibilities:
Deputy to Sheriff: "The boy who dated your daughter has been found dead in a shallow grave outside of town with five bullets in his head."
Sheriff: "Sounds like natural causes to me."
Deputy, writing on his pad: "Natural causes it is. By the way, my daughter's going out on a date this Friday...."
Sheriff, nodding: "Natural causes?"
Deputy: "I was thinking more along the lines of 'Act of God'...."
Sheriff: "Deal."
Moving on. In this stupid book, as far as I've gotten, the vampires have left, and now some werewolves have shown up. How utterly unpredictable. Things sure do get bad in these small towns. How many shark's chewed their way through Amity? And if you change the name slightly to Amityville, then you got Satan showing up. Who ever could have predicted that Werewolves would show up in a vampire novel? This is unheard of.
Second, why werewolves? Why can't we have some other kind of creature, just to shake things up a bit? A werebear, or a weresnake, or even better, a werecockroach! Imagine the possibilities of a such a virtually indestructible creature:
Werecockroach: "Your nuclear weapons don't scare me, you puny insignificant humans. Now hand over all your manure before things get really ugly."
Something, anything, to shake things up a bit. Any good author will write within the confines of a genre, but they will play with the rules, bend them here and there to make the story their own. This book, I see nothing. It's all: "My life sucks, Edward come back to me, my life has no meaning without you.... " And teenage girls identify with this?
I have theory as to why. It feeds into the lies and self-deception girls that age perform upon themselves. It is a story in which the lies so many girls believe to their sorrow are actually true. Their parent's don't understand them (Bella's father is completely out to lunch). They are more mature for their age. They should have relations with older men, even if the man is infinitely older. Her maturity will make them equals. The bad boy really is a good guy, if only he met the right girl. Someone like... me. This story turns on all these points, and shows them to be true in Bella's case. If there is something dangerous within this book, this is it.
I may let Elder continue reading, but I have given her a condition. She is to treat the book like a scarecrow. Before she starts trying to read this novel, she must first intone the following: "Bella is an idiot. Bella is a moron. I am not like Bella. By the Grace of God, I pray I may never be like Bella.
"Amen"
Now I just got find a away to skip out of vetting novels 3, 4 and any other number that comes along, before Egyptian Mummies start showing up. I only wish these novels were written on soft absorbent 3-ply paper. Then I could get some use out of it. I remember a Russian author's response to a bad review of one of his books (not exactly Catholic alert):
"Dear sir.
I am sitting in the smallest room in my house. Your article is in front of me. Soon it will be behind me.
Sincerely,
x."
Exactly.
What mess? you ask. Why the mess that comes when Puff and I decided to start vetting the books our eldest daughter reads. The one my wife posted about a while back comes with a series. I got stuck with number two.
I got stuck vetting another series back in the late '90's or early 2000's. My wife, who at the time worked at a daycare centre came home with a book. She explained that the day care centre was considering putting this title into their library, but were concerned because a number of places, mostly in the States, were banning it. They asked her to read it because she had an English degree. She asked me to read it because I had almost three English degrees.
It was a dark period in my life. I had come to the realization that I was not going to get my Ph.D, that I was more or less stuck where I was. After being forced during the course of my degrees to read books about books about books, or books that tried to structure a hypothetical/theoretical position from which one may begin to have a discussion about how to approach a work of literary art, I had pretty much given up on reading. So my reaction was bleak. "It has come to this," I said to myself. "I, Bear, B.A. M.A., all but dissertation on my Ph.D, am now a reader of children's books for day care centres. Lord, end my suffering, please."
The Lord did not end my suffering, and I sighed and sat down and began reading the first of the Harry Potter novels. I expected a long slow drag, but instead I found that time flew, and before I knew it, I was at the end, and wondering what happened next. The book wasn't great, but it was good, and it had a lot of quirky humour in it. I went out and got my own copy of the book, and then began to get the rest of the series.
I feel I owe Rowling a debt of gratitude, for it was through her that I remembered my long suppressed love of good stories. It rekindled my fondness for children's writing. All too often the so-called adult writing relies on the visceral thrills of sex and violence to cover over the lack of style and story. Children's writing, without these crutches, has to resort to good storytelling. I began reading again, and although I did find a few clunkers, I remembered Pliny Major's dictum: "I never saw a book so bad I did not get some good from it."
Well that's out the window. Pliny never read the Twilight series, or he would have qualified that statement. The books are terrible. The writing is horrible. The 'story', so-called, is told from the point of view of a late teen girl, who is in love with vampire. They love as no two have ever loved before, nor ever shall again, blah blah blah. Every word this girl puts on the page is a reiteration and restatement of two facts:
1. My life sucks; and
2. That pale guy is cute.
I used to observe the teen girls around me when I was a teenager. There was a certain coterie of them that I believed were the most vapid, shallow and stupid creatures put upon the earth. They were the ones who thought they were the most mature and sophisticated people there ever were.
Now, I know most of you ladies out there probably believe that girls mature faster than boys. In all honesty, I never saw it. It really came down to the individuals. I thought, and still do, that if you were to take one hundred boys and one hundred girls, pair them off at random, and administer some kind of objective maturity test, maybe 51 girls would be more mature than the boys, and only 48 of the boys more so than the girls, with one tie. Now, I know boys have their signature immaturities- usually gross, involving bodily fluids and/or sex jokes, and potentially fatal habits. Girls, however, have their own signature immaturity, and believing they are more mature than they are is it. This is Bella, the main character of the novel.
She is seventeen going on eighteen. Her boyfriend, Edward, is forever seventeen. She wants to be with him forever. He is also slightly the bad boy, but also polite and self controlled, not like those other boys. He is also more mature than the other boys, as he should be since he is really over one hundred years old. (Question: aren't there laws against this sort of thing?) He's also a hunk. a hunk like no other, yadda yadda yadda. Really, take away the vampire stuff and you got the same drivel I heard from a dozen girls who fell in love with the quarterback/rebel/drug addict who just needed someone to understand him. The girls then got pregnant, dumped, and now flip burgers at McD's, while going home to look after their grandchildren.
Somehow this stuff plays for the teen girls. For me, I find myself debating whether to turn the page, or gouge out my eyeballs.
It all takes place in a small town, naturally- dark forces always swirl about the small towns. Nothing bad ever happens in the big city. The characters are dumb. I can't even relate to the male characters. Take her father, the town Sheriff. Edward breaks Bella's heart. For four months Bella mopes around the house in the throes of the deepest (yawn) depression. I have long since decided that if any boy causes either of my daughters to shed a single tear of sorrow I will hunt them to the ends of the earth and rend them to pieces with my bare hands. I will carry their bloody head back to my home and mount it on a stake outside as a warning to all others who would dare harm my daughters. If anyone should consider this action to be 'criminal' and charge me with something or other, I will simply stack the jury with fathers who have daughters, and I will walk away a free man. And possibly father of the year.
So what does Bella's father do? He decides to send her to her mother to see if the mother can make her feel better. This is a modern man? The guy's the town Sheriff, for cryin' out loud. Not only is he packing heat, he would investigate the boy's disappearance. Think of the possibilities:
Deputy to Sheriff: "The boy who dated your daughter has been found dead in a shallow grave outside of town with five bullets in his head."
Sheriff: "Sounds like natural causes to me."
Deputy, writing on his pad: "Natural causes it is. By the way, my daughter's going out on a date this Friday...."
Sheriff, nodding: "Natural causes?"
Deputy: "I was thinking more along the lines of 'Act of God'...."
Sheriff: "Deal."
Moving on. In this stupid book, as far as I've gotten, the vampires have left, and now some werewolves have shown up. How utterly unpredictable. Things sure do get bad in these small towns. How many shark's chewed their way through Amity? And if you change the name slightly to Amityville, then you got Satan showing up. Who ever could have predicted that Werewolves would show up in a vampire novel? This is unheard of.
Second, why werewolves? Why can't we have some other kind of creature, just to shake things up a bit? A werebear, or a weresnake, or even better, a werecockroach! Imagine the possibilities of a such a virtually indestructible creature:
Werecockroach: "Your nuclear weapons don't scare me, you puny insignificant humans. Now hand over all your manure before things get really ugly."
Something, anything, to shake things up a bit. Any good author will write within the confines of a genre, but they will play with the rules, bend them here and there to make the story their own. This book, I see nothing. It's all: "My life sucks, Edward come back to me, my life has no meaning without you.... " And teenage girls identify with this?
I have theory as to why. It feeds into the lies and self-deception girls that age perform upon themselves. It is a story in which the lies so many girls believe to their sorrow are actually true. Their parent's don't understand them (Bella's father is completely out to lunch). They are more mature for their age. They should have relations with older men, even if the man is infinitely older. Her maturity will make them equals. The bad boy really is a good guy, if only he met the right girl. Someone like... me. This story turns on all these points, and shows them to be true in Bella's case. If there is something dangerous within this book, this is it.
I may let Elder continue reading, but I have given her a condition. She is to treat the book like a scarecrow. Before she starts trying to read this novel, she must first intone the following: "Bella is an idiot. Bella is a moron. I am not like Bella. By the Grace of God, I pray I may never be like Bella.
"Amen"
Now I just got find a away to skip out of vetting novels 3, 4 and any other number that comes along, before Egyptian Mummies start showing up. I only wish these novels were written on soft absorbent 3-ply paper. Then I could get some use out of it. I remember a Russian author's response to a bad review of one of his books (not exactly Catholic alert):
"Dear sir.
I am sitting in the smallest room in my house. Your article is in front of me. Soon it will be behind me.
Sincerely,
x."
Exactly.
1 November 2008
What I am up too - Mother stuff
Elder has been bothering Bear and me to be able to read a book called, wait for it... "Twilight" Bear and I told her she could, though neither of us had read it, but her friends were. In any case she read almost half of it in 1 day (500 pages +- 10) I asked her what it was about and she said, that it's about a girl who is in love with a vampire and he can't resist wanting her blood.
Now I love vampire novels ( I read many of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles: I stopped after Body Snatcher, but that is another post.) Anywhoo, back to this. My main concern is that Vampires are very .. you know.... sensually if not outright sexually charged creatures of dark myth. And since Elder is 13 and the heroine of the story is 17 and the dark hero/villain is well old enough to be her great great great grandfather, I told her to hold off continuing finishing the novel, until it was vetted by me.
I started reading it and in less than the first chapter, I was bored. The author's style is slow. But anyway, I digress. I am still reading and I won't make any final decisions about letting Elder finish the novel (she wants to read all four novels in the series)- but honestly, it reads alot like Wuthering Heights. Meyers alludes to WH in the novel, and that is when I put the basic premise together- also kind of explained the boredom- I digress. So far my judgement is that IF I let her continue to finish the novel, she has to read Wuthering Heights- She has agreed. There seems to be great debate in which I cannot partake, until I am finished, regarding Edward vs Jacob [Basically it amounts to Vampire vs Werewolf] It might be interesting debate to have with Elder, I just think she may be to young to appreciate and evaluate such a debate and therefore may be too young for the novel.---- But the jury is still out.
Side note: At school, they have scheduled guidance periods, and in guidance Elder mentioned that sometimes she prefers to read and get INTO a novel she is reading instead of playing with other kids. Elder can be a loner at times. The leader asked what she was reading, to which Elder responded that she had been reading Twilight until her 'rents told her they needed to check it out. The Leader told her to tell me that it's ok to let her read it because Scholastic sells it, which Elder proceeded to tell me, and I answered: Tell this person (read "twit") 'Just because Scholastic sells it doesn't mean it's proper reading material: after all it sold an albeit watered down version of The Golden Compass, but that still lead many parents to letting their children read the unabridged version of a novel written by an atheist who has publicly stated that his intention is to destroy faith and belief in GOD.
This leads to to another beef: I being given advice via my kid. Whatever happened to supporting and backing up the 'rents? Has the Leader even read the series: It's a love triangle between a girl, a vampire and a werewolf with the latter two fighting over the first. What kind of 'rent doesn't take that kind of subject matter seriously- The whole Vampire/ werewolf not withstanding - It's two guys in "love" with 1 girl - that alone may make it inappropriate for 13 year olds to evaluate.
In the Public Library it is listed as Young Adult : for 9 year olds and older. 9 year olds are in no way adults - young or otherwise. Public classifications may help parents make up their minds, but it doesn't absolve us from doing our jobs.
I am rambling - 4 hours of reading has done this to me. Apologies one and all, back to the main gist of this post- if it ever had one: Where I am in deciding whether a 13 year old is old enough for this book and so far, my interim conclusin is:
the only harm this book may do is bore the reader to tears. I may end up NOT prohibiting it for elder, but I may not recommend it either.
Now I love vampire novels ( I read many of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles: I stopped after Body Snatcher, but that is another post.) Anywhoo, back to this. My main concern is that Vampires are very .. you know.... sensually if not outright sexually charged creatures of dark myth. And since Elder is 13 and the heroine of the story is 17 and the dark hero/villain is well old enough to be her great great great grandfather, I told her to hold off continuing finishing the novel, until it was vetted by me.
I started reading it and in less than the first chapter, I was bored. The author's style is slow. But anyway, I digress. I am still reading and I won't make any final decisions about letting Elder finish the novel (she wants to read all four novels in the series)- but honestly, it reads alot like Wuthering Heights. Meyers alludes to WH in the novel, and that is when I put the basic premise together- also kind of explained the boredom- I digress. So far my judgement is that IF I let her continue to finish the novel, she has to read Wuthering Heights- She has agreed. There seems to be great debate in which I cannot partake, until I am finished, regarding Edward vs Jacob [Basically it amounts to Vampire vs Werewolf] It might be interesting debate to have with Elder, I just think she may be to young to appreciate and evaluate such a debate and therefore may be too young for the novel.---- But the jury is still out.
Side note: At school, they have scheduled guidance periods, and in guidance Elder mentioned that sometimes she prefers to read and get INTO a novel she is reading instead of playing with other kids. Elder can be a loner at times. The leader asked what she was reading, to which Elder responded that she had been reading Twilight until her 'rents told her they needed to check it out. The Leader told her to tell me that it's ok to let her read it because Scholastic sells it, which Elder proceeded to tell me, and I answered: Tell this person (read "twit") 'Just because Scholastic sells it doesn't mean it's proper reading material: after all it sold an albeit watered down version of The Golden Compass, but that still lead many parents to letting their children read the unabridged version of a novel written by an atheist who has publicly stated that his intention is to destroy faith and belief in GOD.
This leads to to another beef: I being given advice via my kid. Whatever happened to supporting and backing up the 'rents? Has the Leader even read the series: It's a love triangle between a girl, a vampire and a werewolf with the latter two fighting over the first. What kind of 'rent doesn't take that kind of subject matter seriously- The whole Vampire/ werewolf not withstanding - It's two guys in "love" with 1 girl - that alone may make it inappropriate for 13 year olds to evaluate.
In the Public Library it is listed as Young Adult : for 9 year olds and older. 9 year olds are in no way adults - young or otherwise. Public classifications may help parents make up their minds, but it doesn't absolve us from doing our jobs.
I am rambling - 4 hours of reading has done this to me. Apologies one and all, back to the main gist of this post- if it ever had one: Where I am in deciding whether a 13 year old is old enough for this book and so far, my interim conclusin is:
the only harm this book may do is bore the reader to tears. I may end up NOT prohibiting it for elder, but I may not recommend it either.
19 October 2008
IT'S HALLOWE'EN
Elder's the vampiress
Younger's Queen Anne Boleyn
Puff's the seamtress
Bear's the Haberdasher
Not sure who is more frightening.
Now if only I could kind a Vet from whom to purchase a few poppies.
Younger's Queen Anne Boleyn
Puff's the seamtress
Bear's the Haberdasher
Not sure who is more frightening.
Now if only I could kind a Vet from whom to purchase a few poppies.
13 September 2008
My little girl, with a poll
I have just been informed by Puff that Elder was asked by a boy over to his house yesterday. Elder said no, just as I taught her. But Puff also informs me that Elder wants to now renegotiate the age at which she may start dating, ("when I'm dead and cold in the ground") but only with Puff. For some reason Elder is afraid I'd overreact. I trust Puff to handle this adroitly, and I have helpfully provided her with two ready made answers:
1. No.
2. H-ll no.
But now I have boys sniffing around. I want to ask the father's out there what would be the best way to deal with this matter, therefore I have created the poll at the sidebar. Please take some time to vote. And vote often.
UpDate: I've found out that thirteen year old boy in question is an altar boy at church. Should this modify response at all? Perhaps I should cross off the nukes.
6 February 2008
Ash Wednesday
I will be receiving my ashes at my daughters' Ash Wednesday Mass this afternoon at 1:30. OOh goody , this will be fun. A School Mass. Hopefully it will be better than the other parocchial school's (The parish has two) Ash Wednesday mass which I attended last year.
Will update later.
Will update later.
5 October 2007
POPE UNDERLINES IMPORTANCE OF NATURAL MORAL LAW
Emphasis mine
My Comments
My Comments
AC/NATURAL MORAL LAW/COM-TIVIS 071005 (650)VATICAN CITY, OCT 5, 2007 (VIS)
- This morning the Pope received members of the International Theological Commission, who have just completed their annual plenary meeting, held in the Vatican from October 1 to 5 under the presidency of Cardinal William Joseph
Levada.
In his remarks to them, the Holy Father recalled the recent publication of a commission document on the subject of "the hope of salvation for children who die without receiving Baptism," and expressed the wish that it may "continue to be a useful point of reference for pastors of the Church and for theologians," as well as providing "assistance and consolation for the faithful who have suffered the sudden death of a child before receiving" the Sacrament. Having suffered 4 miscarriages, it gives me some solace to know that I can still hope, as Catholics all have the HOPE that we may one day live enternally with God in heaven, that God might still have saved them even though Bear and I were UNABLE to have them baptised, as they died before they were born and henceforth COULD NOT be baptised, and NOT because we did not want them baptised.
Turning to focus on "natural moral law," a question being examined by the commission, Benedict XVI indicated that the doctrine on natural law "achieves two essential aims: on the one hand, it makes it clear that the ethical content of Christian faith is not an imposition dictated from outside man's conscience, but a norm that has its basis in human nature itself; [In short, Catholic morality stems from Natural law] and on the other hand, by starting from the basis of natural law - which of itself is accessible to all rational creatures - it lays the foundations for dialogue with all men and women of good will, and with civil society more generally." [It is a way to start talking with all people indivdiually and society as a whole.]
The Pope then highlighted the fact that nowadays "the original evidence for the foundations of human beings and of their ethical behavior has been lost, and the doctrine of natural moral law clashes with other concepts which run directly contrary to it. All this has enormous consequences on civil and social order." [For proof of this read this article from Lifesite on the GBLTTQ Anti-harrassment policy]
What dominates today, he continued, "is a positivist conception of law" according to which "humanity, or society, or in effect the majority of citizens, become the ultimate source for civil legislation. The problem that arises is not, then, the search for good but the search for power, or rather the balance of power. At the root of this tendency is ethical relativism, in which some people even see one of the principal conditions for democracy because, they feel, relativism guarantees tolerance and mutual respect. ... But if this were true, the majority at any given moment would become the ultimate source for law, and history shows with great clarity that majorities can make mistakes." [It is one thing to state that GLBTTQ are not to be bashed or attacked or harrassed, but to have anti-harrassment policies which are veiled approvals of the lifestyle in an organisation which calls itself "Catholic" is problematic, to say the least. It sends a mixed message to the children who are to be educated, not only in the 3 R's but also, in the tenets and obligations of the Faith and Church. Christ himself says "love the sinner, but hate the sin" Sex outside of marriage is a sin- pure and simple. And it may be alright to say that, but apparently it will be harrasment to include sex involving people with attractions that are extremely different than 90% of the human population.]
"When," the Holy Father proceeded, "the fundamental essentials are at stake: human dignity, human life, the institution of the family and the equity of the social order (in other words the fundamental rights of man), no law made by men and women can subvert the norm written by the Creator in man's heart without society itself being dramatically struck ... at its very core. Thus natural law is a true guarantee for everyone to live freely and with respect for their dignity, protected from all ideological manipulation and from all arbitrary abuses of the powerful. No one can disregard this appeal. [Don't brutalise, abuse, harm, or discriminate the GLBTTQ person - yes with out a doubt this is absolutely correct. It is one thing to decide that attacks, harrassment or discrimination will not be tolerated, but don't in your PC mode, to go so far over that you are actually endorsing and approving there Lifestyle- is betraying Catholic teaching. It is a sin to have sexual relations out side of marriage and a teacher, who is not married and is involved in a sexual relation, even heterosexual one, might not need to be fired or harrassed for the relationship itself, but does that mean that in trying NOT to offend this teacher, the school cannot teach that fornication is a sin. Or a teacher having an adulterous affair might be offended to hear that children are being taught that adultery is a sin. Fornication is a sin, adultery is a sin. The act of sex between persons of the same sex and gender is a sin. All three sinners, need not be harrassed or vilified for their sins, but at the same time, neither should they feel that their sins are not sins, and should not be taught as such to the children being educated by a supposed "Roman Catholic School System."]
"If," he added, "by reason of a tragic clouding of the collective conscience, skepticism and ethical relativism managed to annul the
fundamental principles of natural moral law, the very democratic order itself would be profoundly undermined at its foundations. Against such clouding - which is a crisis for human, even more than for Christian, civilization - the consciences of all men and women of good will must be mobilized, both lay people and followers of religions other than Christianity, so that together they may make an effective commitment to creating ... the conditions necessary for a full awareness of the inalienable value of natural moral law." [This is what I tried to say with the examples above. PBXVI says it better.]Benedict XVI concluded by stressing that "the advance of individuals and of society along the path of true progress" depends upon respect for natural moral law, "in conformity with right reason, which is participation in the eternal Reason of God." [The trustees of the TDCSB should be e-mailed this from the
Vatican.]
1 July 2007
9 June 2007
Ruminations upon housework
Whilst doing the washing today, the idea struck me: were the ancient Greeks around writing their myths today, Sisyphus would be doing laundry.
Later, whilst checking the weather for laundry purposes, I saw that it was a clear blue sky, lots of sunshine, with a light breeze (A lovely day, really) and in my head I heard lieutenant Worf's voice say: "It is a good day to dry."
I took younger out. She rode her tricycle and I walked alongside. We stopped to smell the flowers. "MMM, Daddy!" she squealed. "These smell just like pink roses!" Which was a good thing, because the flowers were indeed pink roses.
Later, whilst checking the weather for laundry purposes, I saw that it was a clear blue sky, lots of sunshine, with a light breeze (A lovely day, really) and in my head I heard lieutenant Worf's voice say: "It is a good day to dry."
I took younger out. She rode her tricycle and I walked alongside. We stopped to smell the flowers. "MMM, Daddy!" she squealed. "These smell just like pink roses!" Which was a good thing, because the flowers were indeed pink roses.
My realty tax dollars at work, part deux
Younger's teacher said to me on one of younger's progress reports that younger does not colour things in their proper colours- i.e. she likes to colour horses purple.
Now, Bear's mother is an artist, so I mentioned this to her. "Proper colours!" she scoffed. "Phooey! Children should have fun with art." I should add my mother in law is a realist artist, who specializes in portraits, and loathes modern art. Apparently she suspends her dislikes for her grand children.
So I have a teacher on one hand and a trained artist on the other. To whom should I listen?
Now, Bear's mother is an artist, so I mentioned this to her. "Proper colours!" she scoffed. "Phooey! Children should have fun with art." I should add my mother in law is a realist artist, who specializes in portraits, and loathes modern art. Apparently she suspends her dislikes for her grand children.
So I have a teacher on one hand and a trained artist on the other. To whom should I listen?
7 June 2007
My Realty Tax Dollars Pay for This.
Yesterday, while I was researching for 15 Sunday OT - C, I heard Elder singing. NOw, I like elder singing, when she is singing something I like and I can hear her properly, but she was singing very softly and, for some odd reason, the tune irritated me, though I couldn't make out the tune clearly. ( I should point out that I was in my room and she was doing homework in her room, with her door closed.)
At some point, she leaves her room, and heads downstairs, and as she does so I hear the lyrics and the tune.
We are one in the Spirit,
We are in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit,
We are in the Lord
And We pray that all unity
May one day be restored
And they'll know we are Christians
By our love, By our love
And they'll know we are Christians
By our love
I got up so fast, I overturned my chair, causing a thud. Bear asked if I was OK, I didn't answer, as I bolted down the stairs.
"Elder, where did you learn that song?" I may have asked a little to forcefully, because she just stared at me.
"Honey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to frighten you. Where did you learn that song?"
"Uh, mom , why?
"Honey, where did you learn that song?"
"At School."
"For Music Class?"
"No, for church"
"Honey, tell me you're joking. Tell me they are not still teaching such bad songs for mass that they taught me exactly 3o years ago."
Elder, starts to laugh at my reaction. " Yeah." Then, stops looks at me and asks, "What's wrong with the song?"
Her question, left me perplexed, and it took me a while to realise that she was being honest in asking.
Bear interrupted and asked, "OK, simple grammar review: first line: 'We are one in the Spirit' Elder, what's the subject of the sentence?"
"We"
"Right. We is the Subject for all the sentences except for the refrain, where the subject is 'They'"
"So?"
"Well Elder, when we go to church, and attend mass, why are we there, or why are we supposed to be there?"
"To Worship God."
"So why are we singing about ourselves, to ourselves, in relation to others. The subject of hymns should be God: To God, about God.
"OHHHH"
So my twelve year old gets it, but teachers can't?
Thirty years later, there still teaching the same crap. And the future teachers, still in grade school are learning this crap and I'm afraid they teach it to my grandchildren. We'll never be free of this stuff. Be afraid, be very afraid.
At some point, she leaves her room, and heads downstairs, and as she does so I hear the lyrics and the tune.
We are one in the Spirit,
We are in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit,
We are in the Lord
And We pray that all unity
May one day be restored
And they'll know we are Christians
By our love, By our love
And they'll know we are Christians
By our love
I got up so fast, I overturned my chair, causing a thud. Bear asked if I was OK, I didn't answer, as I bolted down the stairs.
"Elder, where did you learn that song?" I may have asked a little to forcefully, because she just stared at me.
"Honey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to frighten you. Where did you learn that song?"
"Uh, mom , why?
"Honey, where did you learn that song?"
"At School."
"For Music Class?"
"No, for church"
"Honey, tell me you're joking. Tell me they are not still teaching such bad songs for mass that they taught me exactly 3o years ago."
Elder, starts to laugh at my reaction. " Yeah." Then, stops looks at me and asks, "What's wrong with the song?"
Her question, left me perplexed, and it took me a while to realise that she was being honest in asking.
Bear interrupted and asked, "OK, simple grammar review: first line: 'We are one in the Spirit' Elder, what's the subject of the sentence?"
"We"
"Right. We is the Subject for all the sentences except for the refrain, where the subject is 'They'"
"So?"
"Well Elder, when we go to church, and attend mass, why are we there, or why are we supposed to be there?"
"To Worship God."
"So why are we singing about ourselves, to ourselves, in relation to others. The subject of hymns should be God: To God, about God.
"OHHHH"
So my twelve year old gets it, but teachers can't?
Thirty years later, there still teaching the same crap. And the future teachers, still in grade school are learning this crap and I'm afraid they teach it to my grandchildren. We'll never be free of this stuff. Be afraid, be very afraid.
23 May 2007
a few random thoughts
The tests for elder came back. Finally. All are negative, so she's ok. Deo gratias, and thanks for all the prayers.
Puff tells me elder has been wondering about what it would be like to kiss a boy. This is clearly a sign to me. It is a sign to go out and buy a twin barrel side by side twelve guage shotgun, head north and lock her into her room until she's, oh, about forty. The boys at school tease her. One day those hirstute, slope browed, knuckle dragging, microcephalic protohomonids is going to ask her out, and I want them to see my smiling, happy face, as I click the barrels into position.
Her birthday is also rapidly approaching. Can anyone out there tell me: at what point did organizing a kid's party take as much planning as D-day? And cost about as much?
I gave Younger the nickname "beautiful" while she was still a baby, and she has kept it ever since. I think this was not my brightest idea as she is now somewhat vain. Among her more interesting comments:
When being told her cousin was coming over she said: "Won't Liam be happy to see how pretty I am?"
This morning, arguing with Puff over her outfit: "But Mommy, you know I like to be pretty!"
The other day, to me, after I called "Come here, twerp!" she replied: "Daddy, I think you mean 'beautiful.'"
The other day I was going to correct her over something she had done, but before I could say a word, she rushed over to me and hugged my leg. "You're the best Daddy in the whole wide world!" she said, and suddenly I couldn't remember why I was about to correct her.
Puff tells me elder has been wondering about what it would be like to kiss a boy. This is clearly a sign to me. It is a sign to go out and buy a twin barrel side by side twelve guage shotgun, head north and lock her into her room until she's, oh, about forty. The boys at school tease her. One day those hirstute, slope browed, knuckle dragging, microcephalic protohomonids is going to ask her out, and I want them to see my smiling, happy face, as I click the barrels into position.
Her birthday is also rapidly approaching. Can anyone out there tell me: at what point did organizing a kid's party take as much planning as D-day? And cost about as much?
I gave Younger the nickname "beautiful" while she was still a baby, and she has kept it ever since. I think this was not my brightest idea as she is now somewhat vain. Among her more interesting comments:
When being told her cousin was coming over she said: "Won't Liam be happy to see how pretty I am?"
This morning, arguing with Puff over her outfit: "But Mommy, you know I like to be pretty!"
The other day, to me, after I called "Come here, twerp!" she replied: "Daddy, I think you mean 'beautiful.'"
The other day I was going to correct her over something she had done, but before I could say a word, she rushed over to me and hugged my leg. "You're the best Daddy in the whole wide world!" she said, and suddenly I couldn't remember why I was about to correct her.
24 April 2007
What is wrong with this scene?
Updated: April 25, 2007 at 6:47 a.m.
Important piece of information needed for the story
***Our Children attend a CATHOLIC SCHOOL****
This discussion on Friday, when I dropped Younger off at Junior Kindergarten in the afternoon.
Since younger has music first thing on Friday, the teacher who greeted the children was the Music teacher and the home room teacher wasn't there. I passed by the office on my way out of the school, and saw her teacher.
"YOunger, wants me to tell you she has something for show and tell."
"But we don't have show and tell"
I just shrugged, "Well, she wanted me to tell you"
At this point the teacher noticed the brown ribbon on my scapular.
"Are you wearing Younger's "Jesus" necklace. (A little wooden fish with the name "JESUS" inscibed on it.)
"No..." I pulled it out of my shirt, "It's my scapular"
"You're really religious, aren't you?"
"I, um well" You see I am not as religious as others, so I hesitated in answering.
"Oh, admit it, you are."
"Yeah, I guess I am"
I should have added, "I even know the significance of the JESUS fish," but I didn't.
She looked rather surprised.
Important piece of information needed for the story
***Our Children attend a CATHOLIC SCHOOL****
This discussion on Friday, when I dropped Younger off at Junior Kindergarten in the afternoon.
Since younger has music first thing on Friday, the teacher who greeted the children was the Music teacher and the home room teacher wasn't there. I passed by the office on my way out of the school, and saw her teacher.
"YOunger, wants me to tell you she has something for show and tell."
"But we don't have show and tell"
I just shrugged, "Well, she wanted me to tell you"
At this point the teacher noticed the brown ribbon on my scapular.
"Are you wearing Younger's "Jesus" necklace. (A little wooden fish with the name "JESUS" inscibed on it.)
"No..." I pulled it out of my shirt, "It's my scapular"
"You're really religious, aren't you?"
"I, um well" You see I am not as religious as others, so I hesitated in answering.
"Oh, admit it, you are."
"Yeah, I guess I am"
I should have added, "I even know the significance of the JESUS fish," but I didn't.
She looked rather surprised.
13 April 2007
quick roundup
I took Elder to the get an ultrasound today, along with some blood work and urinalysis. Nothing came of the ultrasound immediately, so it's probably not too bad.
Elder's problem was that every week she would be sick for a day or so, and then fine, and then sick again the next week. This week's round began with her coming into our bedroom at 3 in the morning on Wednesday and saying: "Daddy, I feel nauseous." I was pinned in my bed between younger and Puff (how it is that I, by far larger than the other two put together, still get stuck with the smallest amount of space in bed will be fodder for another post), plus- did I mention it was 3 am?- my ability to empathize at the wee hours of the morning is minimal, so I called from my position, "Get to the bathroom!" Where she went and proceeded to be loudly ill, which woke Puff, (who could snore through the Apocalypse, I am sure), who turned to me and said: "Wuzz goin' on?" At which point Elder's voice came plaintively back to us from the bathroom: "Daddy, I missed the toilet."
Puff immediately clicked in: "She's calling you," she said.
"Yeah," I replied. "But I'm pinned down here. You go take care of it." I can make an asset out of anything.
We debated until Puff said "Fine!" and got up. During which Elder felt nauseous again and ran to the other bathroom. Just as Puff had finished up, we heard the weak voice come to us "Oh no, I missed again." Puff came into the room. "You're turn," she said. And so on for the rest of the night.
So we took her to the doctor who examined her and noticed she was in pain around her liver and gallbladder, so he sent us for the ultrasound. The technicians wouldn't tell us anything for the time being, which may be a good sign, or at least a sign that this is not an emergency.
I thank you all for your prayers.
Elder's problem was that every week she would be sick for a day or so, and then fine, and then sick again the next week. This week's round began with her coming into our bedroom at 3 in the morning on Wednesday and saying: "Daddy, I feel nauseous." I was pinned in my bed between younger and Puff (how it is that I, by far larger than the other two put together, still get stuck with the smallest amount of space in bed will be fodder for another post), plus- did I mention it was 3 am?- my ability to empathize at the wee hours of the morning is minimal, so I called from my position, "Get to the bathroom!" Where she went and proceeded to be loudly ill, which woke Puff, (who could snore through the Apocalypse, I am sure), who turned to me and said: "Wuzz goin' on?" At which point Elder's voice came plaintively back to us from the bathroom: "Daddy, I missed the toilet."
Puff immediately clicked in: "She's calling you," she said.
"Yeah," I replied. "But I'm pinned down here. You go take care of it." I can make an asset out of anything.
We debated until Puff said "Fine!" and got up. During which Elder felt nauseous again and ran to the other bathroom. Just as Puff had finished up, we heard the weak voice come to us "Oh no, I missed again." Puff came into the room. "You're turn," she said. And so on for the rest of the night.
So we took her to the doctor who examined her and noticed she was in pain around her liver and gallbladder, so he sent us for the ultrasound. The technicians wouldn't tell us anything for the time being, which may be a good sign, or at least a sign that this is not an emergency.
I thank you all for your prayers.
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